Sleep Deprivation

Funny how a good night's sleep, or lack of it, can make such a difference in lots of ways. I didn't sleep Saturday night much, maybe a couple of hours. Then Sunday night, I didn't sleep at all...not a wink. My body was wracked with pain; some familiar, some new. Since my surgery, I have experienced constant numbness and tingling in my right arm and hand, which can drive a person crazy. Sunday night, I had it in my left arm and hand, and it was very intense. I "lost it", completely lost it, and cried aloud to God, begging for relief and verbalizing my displeasure with the whole thing.

Yesterday was a blur...I was functioning on fumes and the grace of God. My thoughts was to get my errands done yesterday morning, then rest in the afternoon. Great plans, but my body wouldn't rest, couldn't rest. God did grant me a good night's sleep last night. While my pain is no less, my mood is! There are blessings in suffering if we will only open our eyes to them.

The wind is howling today out of the south, and temperatures are supposed to be in the 70's. In typical Oklahoma fashion, however, Friday is forecasted to bring with it a strong cold winter front, and the highs will be in the 40's, accompanied by a cold rain. And what would a day be like without our Oklahoma wind, which will add to the misery.

Much like life, seasons come and seasons go. While finite on a calendar, those seasons can extend or shorten in our life. I feel like I've been in winter since May 5, 2009, the day of the "great fall". I look forward to springtime in my body, which brings hope, and new life. I know spring will come, its the not knowing when that is hard. It may not be on this side of the grass, but at least I have the blessed assurance that there will one day be a place of no more pain, no more tears, no more suffering. I can only imagine......