It is a beautiful, though chilly day here. Not one cloud in the crystal blue sky, not one. I think I've had enough chilly weather, though...I'm ready for shorts and sandals again! Layers of clothing make me a little cranky.
My pain today is bad again....can't figure out any rhyme or reason for escalations in my pain level. Chronic pain, once thought of as a symptom, is now being treated as a disease of the central nervous system. It was explained to me by a doctor that if pain is left untreated, those pain fibers can start a chain reaction in the nerves, and then those nerves are constantly sending pain signals to the brain. If my pain had been treated shortly after surgery, I wouldn't be facing a lifetime of it. But it wasn't, and I can't rewrite history. It is just so exhausting, physically and mentally. It's hard not to be angry at the Workmens Comp system here in Oklahoma for the hell this is putting me through.
There are so many things I can't do any longer, and I'm trying to find other things that bring me joy. I am a go go go person, always have been. Trying to adapt my personality is more difficult than the physical adaptations I've had to make. I don't like being still; I don't like not being able to get out and run; I don't like having to think about every single activity I do, errand I run, position I am in, etc. just to make the pain bearable. Ugh.
Yet, I still am grateful and see the glass as half full. My Mom taught me to live that way. She could absolutely find the silver lining in every single cloud of life. Both she and Daddy also instilled how important it is to have a sense of humor. There is something funny in every situation - even the bleakest. I was blessed to have the parents I did, and I'm grateful God sent me to them.
Now it's off to run a couple of errands, then spend some time with my dear friend, Beth, this evening! Speaking of blessings - she is a big one. Beth is more of a sister than a friend.
Whatever your Saturday holds, may you see the blessings you are showered with today.
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